


Reflections

by Winters_Sister



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky has flashbacks, Bucky in the shower, Gen, Naked Bucky Barnes, One Shot, POV Bucky Barnes, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, regaining his memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 09:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6189811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winters_Sister/pseuds/Winters_Sister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's now a few months after his visit to the Capitan America exhibition in the Smithsonian. Bucky has found a safe place to stay, for now at least. He'd like to be able to stop long enough to reflect and make more sense of his jumbled memories, which come back to him slowly in dribs and drabs, but who knows how long that'd take?</p><p>He hadn't banked on more memories flooding back as the water streamed down him in the shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> The spelling and use of language is in line with British use of English, as I am English. I do try to make anything said by American characters sound as authentic as I can. I do have the help of my lovely American editor on that front.

Standing in front of a full length mirror wearing only a pair of black shorts, Bucky studies his reflection. His face is nearly unrecognisable compared to the pictures he'd seen at the Captain America exhibition few months ago. His hair, long, tangled and dirty, frames a face streaked with dirt, his strong jawline and dimpled chin hidden beneath weeks of beard growth. Looking down at his body, he recalls he once had body hair and nowhere near this amount of muscle. He's a different person now, for so many reasons, the most obvious thing is **that** arm.

“Time to make myself presentable, I guess,” he says to his reflection, “Shower first, then work out what to do about all of this,” running his fingers through his hair and stroking his beard, ”probably ought to do something.”

He turns and heads into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Reaching into the shower enclosure he turns the water on. Bending slightly as he slides his shorts down his smooth, muscular thighs, till they're just below his knees, then lets them fall to the floor. He steps out of them and into the shower.

The warm water hits him squarely in the chest; turning slowly he allows it to wet his entire body. As usual in such situations, the armour plates of his metal arm remain tightly closed. Bucky doesn't know exactly how it works, but knows it'll do this when he gets wet, presumably to prevent water getting inside.

Closing his eyes for a moment, images start to flash through Bucky’s mind. Violent images of gunfire and explosions, but these are not images of the Winter Soldier going about his work, they are of war, of the bloodshed and conflict back in his dim and distant past. He shudders, suddenly feeling cold, not physically cold, but cold in the very core of his being. Bucky breathes deeply letting the warm water cascade over his body and the feeling passes.

Turning his back to the water flow, he tips his head back allowing it to thoroughly wet his hair. Pushing it out of his face he reaches for the bottle of shampoo, popping the cap open he cautiously sniffs the bottle. He's surprised by a pleasant almond aroma, “Not bad,” he says to nobody in particular, before pouring some on to his hand and working it into a rich lather on his hair.

Bucky's mind wanders as he washes his hair, his recalls bath time with his sister when they were both really little, his mother washing his hair while his sister played with a bath toy. What would his sister think of the big brother that used to pull her pigtails now? A little revenge and a lot of teasing would probably be her response to her brother’s long hair. “I wonder what happened to Rebecca?”

Once he's satisfied his hair is clean he thoroughly rinses it, suds cascade down his back, over the curves of his buttocks and down his legs. He turns his attention to the bottle next to the shampoo, labelled conditioner. Reading the label; leaves hair shiny and manageable. Reduces tangling, Bucky lets out a huff, it's gonna have its work cut out for it, still if it makes it easier to get a brush through, he will try it.

He follows the directions on the conditioner, then rinses thoroughly, he turns his attention to his body. Picking up the bottle of shower gel, he squeezes a little on his hand, and is greeted with the smell of orange and cinnamon. Things have certainly moved on since he was young. Soap came in the form of a vaguely medicated smelling bar, not a pleasant smelling liquid.

Steve used to smell of that medicated soap, mind you pretty much everyone did. Bucky recalls teasing him that the bar of soap he used lasted longer than pretty much everyone else's, as there was so little of him to wash. A slight smile spreads across Bucky's face, well Steve was 95lb wet through then. He's a bit different now.

Bucky starts by rubbing the shower gel into his tight achy shoulders, and across his muscular chest and down on to his well defined abs. Reaching for a sponge, he begins cleaning his back, before moving on to scrubbing his legs clean. The warm water washes away the dirt and helps Bucky feel more human again.

Human, there's a thing, a guy with a metal arm feeling human. “You might say I'll never be truly human with this thing,” Bucky mutters. “You are to be the new fist of Hydra”  Zola’s voice echoes in Bucky's mind, accompanied by images of various procedures, modifications and repairs being made to his arm over the years. Looking down at his left arm he says, “But I'm more than just a metal armed killing machine,”, he says in a defiant tone. “They tried to take away my memories. My identity. They failed.”

Once he is certain that he's cleaned every inch of his body, he turns once more and sticks his face under the water. Spreading a little shower gel into his hands; he rubs his face and beard till he satisfies himself the dirt has gone. Rinsing off, he reaches out to turn the shower off and wipes the water from his eyes, before running both hands down his face to wipe away any excess water.

At least now he wasn't getting told off for hogging the bathroom.“James! Hurry up will you? You've been in there forever,” his mother's voice called through the bathroom door. “Yeah, mom I won't be a minute,”“I should hope not, you'll be late meeting Steve if you don't get moving,” Bucky emerges from the bathroom straightening his tie. “My handsome boy, you're gonna break some poor girl's heart one of these days.” His mother reaches up placing a hand on his cheek and planting a gentle kiss on his other cheek, “No Mom,” Bucky takes hold of his mother's hand, removing her hand from his face and kissing it. “Not gonna do that, promise, just going dancin’.” He takes hold of both of her hands and gives them a reassuring squeeze, before letting go.

Gathering his hair into a ponytail he wrings it out, before stepping out of the shower enclosure and grabbing a towel. Towel drying his hair, he then grabs a second towel and wraps it round his waist. Stepping back into the bedroom he picks up his hairbrush and sits on the end of the bed. One thing he has learned as he works the brush through the ends of his hair, is that starting at the roots and working down is painful. It is much easier to untangle the ends of his hair before moving on to brushing the entire length.

What are men of today doing with their hair? Lots of short hair around, that hasn't changed, but it's what they're doing with it. Even Steve seems to be joining in with modern trends, with that bit at the front stuck up, like it's scared of his eyebrows. Bucky thinks it looks ridiculous. Searching his recent memories, Bucky is sure he's not the only one with long hair. There was that guy, Thor, he has long hair and nobody seems bothered by that.

The task is completed with minimal pulling and a deal more ease than he expected. “Seems that conditioner is good stuff, does what it says.” He glances up at the full length mirror he looked in earlier, dropping the brush on the bed he stands and looks at himself now clean and wet. Rearranging his hair with his hands so it's pushed back from his face, he comes to a conclusion, “Not sure I'm ready to change the hair, but the caveman beard has to go,” returning to the bathroom.

A short while later, he reemerges from the bathroom, clean-shaved with neat sideburns, slightly damp long hair now tidily trimmed so it's sits just on his shoulders. Bucky drops the towel and pulls on a pair of briefs. He eyes up the pile of assorted clean clothes on top of the small table. Now just to work out what else to wear.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written after a friend asked me to write and I quote "Bucky in the shower, without it being porn." She seemed happy with the result.
> 
> Please let me know what you think, I'm happy to hear any feedback or constructive criticism.
> 
> If you spot any errors that myself and my editor have missed let me know and I'll fix as soon as I can.


End file.
